I have three noteworthy issues. The first is that I am an aspie. The second one is that I am an aspie bringing up two kids in the spectrum and the third one is that I have depleted my adrenal glands. What’s worse,these three issues don’t appear to have a meeting indicate instead,they appear to be triggering each other.
To be clear,I adore my children more than I cherish my own life,even however this sounds as the greatest adage I could state. Be that as it may, it is the plain truth. Nevertheless,loving my youngsters doesn’t imply that raising and helping them with their conditions,doesn’t pump me up with abundance stretch.
Both of them suffer from Hashimoto’s thyroiditis,especially my older one. And although he is already on levothyroxine in order to regulate his thyroid function, this condition seems to make him drowsy and unwilling to cooperate and coordinate even for the tiniest or the most ordinary things, such as walking our dog or getting prepared for school.
Let’s take an ordinary working day for example. The only positive point is that I am working at home,which doesn’t mean that I have all the time in the world to waste until my son decides that it is finally time to go to school,always according to his opinion.
I normally wake up at six thirty,I say normally because I am still suffering from insomnia and other adrenal related abnormalities.By 6.45 am I begin the process of waking up my older son,the PDD-NOS one.First by saying softly that he ought to wake up,then by calling his name and stating that time does fly especially when we are feeling like cuddling and forgetting that it’s a working day. Meanwhile,my younger son,the aspie one, has already woken up by my voice and the activity in the house. Still,my older son lies underneath the bed covers.
By 7.15 my younger son,is already fully clothed and having breakfast.
By 7.15 I begin feeling my stomach fluttering and my hands a bit shaky.
By 7.20 there’s no sound from my son’s bedroom no matter how loud I shout that he should be having breakfast instead of hiding under the covers.
By 7.30 I am already going upstairs thinking that I have spent the past seven years doing the same thing every morning and,after they have gone to school,I feel exhausted and empty and my day usually goes to waste. Totally. Because my schedule was interrupted.I am certain that any aspie can relate to that.
Meanwhile,my younger one is all set and waiting patiently for his brother to finally wake up and get started. I honestly admire him for his patience,a word unknown to us aspies.
By 7.40 I am on the verge of a major panic attack. My mind is racing and I am about to shout out loud that enough is enough and that I am also entitled to live my own life without this daily torture.But I hold back the yelling and the despair as I am aware of how this will end if I do as I feel at that moment: Loud crying,stumping feet,rushing upstairs and shutting doors with thunderous bangs. No,thanks,I’ll pass.
By 7.50 my PDD-NOS child shows in the staircase glowing like a rock star. Right. Now I can crash in peace. He has even brushed his teeth,he’s ready to go to school. And then he asks me why I have been shouting that he’s going to be late since he was ready since 7.20 but was just watching the birds outside the window. Exactly that.
I was never great at taking care of my stress and I was retaining outer stress like a wipe as far back as I remember myself. In any case, the measure of anxiety that I endure the late years is mind blowing even for me.And when they are gone ,I ask myself for what good reason I got so pushed. Why I can’t deal with my stress contrastingly and why on earth do I feel that everything in this world is my obligation.
Obviously my kids are my duty. Be that as it may, they are sufficiently grown up to handle their own ones,such as the duty to be available at school in time,the obligation to not interfere with other individuals’ arrangements and timetables and upset their lives. The issue is that they have the feeling that they can disorganize my schedule as much as they need and that it won’t make any difference since mom won’t holler. What’s more, I haven’t figured an approach to make them comprehend that it does make a difference and that in the event that I don’t shout is on the grounds that my adrenal glands are not ready to adapt to this sort of activity .
I find it extremely hard to recover from adrenal insufficiency under these circumstances.
What’s more, I am not looking for full recovery,I have dealt with the possibility that at my age and with so much ceaseless harm done to me,it is a miracle that I am still alive. In any case, I would surely value some time for myself,some quality,peaceful time. I realize that my youngsters may feel that their mom emits signals in alien frequencies and is not very social – I now and again say to companions that even my online records have Asperger’s,few supporters – as I think of them as a bit feet-dragging and space-oriented..
So I don’t have any tips how to make your children get up for bed on school days. Nor would I be able to let you know how to deal with both autism parenthood and exhausted adrenals. My own experience says that these two don’t blend well. Children with autism can have the effect of huge amounts of stress for the family. Regardless of the possibility that I hadn’t had depleted adrenal organs I am certain they would have crashed anyhow after more than 10 years of desperate attempts to cope with an autistic individual that isn’t me.